Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
