I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
