handjob tips. give me some.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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