Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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