dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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