I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
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They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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