I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I queefed so loud it echoed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize