I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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