For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
