I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
