Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
