i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
