It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
try to milk me bitch
Randomize