i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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