Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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