After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dating After Heartbreak
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on