o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day