Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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