Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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