just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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