Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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