it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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