I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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