she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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