Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
