So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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