Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
