Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize