She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
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I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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