Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize