3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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