i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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