3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
