Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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