Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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