i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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