I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
