my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want nice things and good sex
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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