Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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