If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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