Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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