She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
