Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
