hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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