He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize