Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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