new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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