How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.