After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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