Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
