Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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