my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
