glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
