she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
