I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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