well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
