I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize