how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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