New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
